Grieve & Grow
GRIEVE & GROW BLOG
                   Donna j. Mann

More about moving

by Donna Mann on 07/29/14

If these posts seem out of order, that may be. I had written a few, saved them and not published to the site. Even though the dates may not coincide with the event, we'll just keep working with this issue.

Reflecting is Heathly

by Donna Mann on 07/29/14

It's been too long since I've written in this blog - but that's going to change. While in the grocery story yesterday, I talked with an old friend. In response to a question, she said, "I don't want to think back to those days." I wondered if the pain was still as deep as the obvious memory.

Reflecting on significant times in one's life can be very healing. We made a major move over the past year; this being one of the reasons I had to let a lot of things go - blogging for one. We moved from a lovely old 1865, 2400 square feet restored farm house. It seemed the perfect place to have a Bed & Breakfast, Family Party Room in the Barn Shed, Labrinyth and flower beds . . . and more flower beds.

We enjoyed putting small gold fish in the garden pond during the month of June and then graduating them in the fall to the larger farm pond. The bog garden behind the barn nursed the frogs, water insects, other unnamed friends and the river overflow kept the water moving and fresh.

There were times in my waking day dreams that I thought we'd never leave that property. Each time I walked through the cedar bush, I thought the path looked stronger, beckoning me to come more often.

Perhaps, sitting by the river taught me the greatest lesson about change. If I stood in the middle of it, new fresh running water washed through my toes. If it were not that way, I would be standing in stagnant water.

We moved back 'home' after 30 years of being away. Into a much beloved bungalow that I'd admired since childhood . . . and right next door to my grandparent's last residence. From my farm memories of work, a particular satisfaction and peace of mind, to a different kind of reflection - that of Grandpa and our walks down through the tangled bush to the top of the Elora Rocks. And of Grandma baking her cookies, and looking for Grandpa and me, out over the same back field, that we cut now as lawn.

Reflection is heathly. If there is work to do, God will give you the strength to tidy it up. Reflection is not to greive, but to anticipate. It is not to bring sorrow, but to look for surprise. It is gaining the strength to let go and then use that newly found strength to continue the journey.

2011 - This is the year to move

by Donna Mann on 07/29/14

Interesting how we often think that grief is associated only with death. Or perhaps I should rephrase the previous sentence to read that it is only when someone we love dies that we grieve.

In committing to blog again, I want to encourage readers to think about the many events, actions or attitudes that initiate the grieving process. I'll begin by suggesting that moving can be a giant motivating factor to grieve.

In 2010, I'm thinking about planting a new flower garden in the spring, and my husband surprises me with his words, "Let's move." For several days, I could not imagine how to do this. Even though we agreed that we would live in the country for a decade and then move to town, being past that time didn't make it easier to agree. If anything, I had begun to think we would stay here. . .

 

Pressing on or Having a Party

by Donna Mann on 04/17/10

How often in the valleys of life, has someone told you to press on, when all you want to do is pause and have a pity party? Pressing on and enjoying that pity party are both important in their own time. Where we get into trouble, is pressing on before we're ready, or having that pity party and getting stuck there.

Grieve and Grow

by Donna Mann on 04/06/10

Welcome to Grieve and Grow. I'm glad you decided to come and visit this blog. You may be here because you are grieving the loss of a loved one, or perhaps the loss of identity or status in your life. Maybe you've mislaid your grandmother's opal ring and you have given up trying to find it. We expect grief to fill us in the predictable losses, but grief can also surface in our mind and heart from the most surprising losses, changes or disappointments in life. And we end up saying, "So, that's what this is all about."

Is Grieve and Grow a good title for my blog? Do these words even connect with each other? Is this title an oxymoron? That is, do these words contradict each other?

Questions such as the above have often initiated discussion in grief groups. Can a person grow emotionally and spiritually while they grieve? I would answer "most definitely" to that question.

Here's another thought to consider. Some of you may be familiar with Granger Westburg's book, Good Grief, and you ask, "How can grief be good?"

It can. Been there - done that. I know it works. Talk to you soon.

Donna Mann